More Than What You See

Alright, I’m just going to be real.

I’ve never really shared my full story like this, but I feel like it’s time. A lot of people look at me and think I’ve had an easy life. They see me smiling, laughing, living—but they have no idea what’s actually behind it.

I’m not telling this for attention. I’m telling it because maybe someone out there feels alone or like life is just too hard.

And if that’s you, I want you to know—you’re not alone.

This is my story. And trust me… it’s a lot. But if I can still be here after everything I’ve been through, so can you.

I was literally found in a trash can as a baby. My real parents were homeless, living under a bridge. My mom had severe schizophrenia, and my dad was an alcoholic. They couldn’t take care of me, so they just… left me.

I ended up in foster care, where nobody wanted me. There was even a time when they were going to name me Snow—which is crazy to think about.

Then, my adoptive mom took me in. And honestly? She was my best friend. We were super close. She was crazy protective over me, but I loved her. She was all I had.

But even though I had her, I never felt like I belonged. My siblings didn’t like me. They talked behind my back, treated me different, and made me feel like I didn’t fit in. And deep down, I always had this feeling that there was something I wasn’t being told.

Then, I found out the truth.

I wasn’t biologically related to them. I had been lied to my entire life. I did DNA tests, started digging for answers, and when I finally confronted my adoptive mom, she admitted it. I wasn’t her biological daughter.

That moment changed everything for me.

I went searching for my real family, and when I found them… man, it just made everything worse. My real dad is in a hospital bed, unable to speak. My real mom? Her schizophrenia is so bad she doesn’t even live in reality. When she first saw me, she just cried and kept asking if I was mad at her. She didn’t even know how to talk to me.

And then, not long after that, my adoptive mom got cancer. Again. She had already survived it so many times, but this time, she didn’t make it.

Losing her destroyed me. She was literally the only person I ever felt close to. I stayed with her in the hospital. I watched her get worse. I watched her realize she wasn’t going to make it. And then she was gone.

After that, I had no one.

And things just kept getting worse. Someone I trusted started acting weird, crossing lines they shouldn’t have. Saying things that made me uncomfortable. Things a person in their position should never say. It confused me, hurt me, and made me lose respect for them completely.

At the same time, I kept getting into bad relationships. I got used, hurt, betrayed over and over. I kept trying to love people, and all they did was mess with my head and make me feel like I wasn’t enough.

My anxiety got out of control. I couldn’t even drive for two years because I was so scared of everything. I had depersonalization—like I wasn’t even in my own body. I seriously thought I was going crazy. I thought I was gonna end up like my real mom.

And the worst part? No one knew.

People saw me smiling and thought I was fine. But inside, I was falling apart.

I’ve had horrible nightmares. Panic attacks that made me feel like I was dying. I’ve hit rock bottom so many times that I stopped counting.

But you know what? I’m still here.

And I’m not just surviving anymore—I’m healing.

The thing that saved me wasn’t therapy, wasn’t people, wasn’t anything except prayer. Talking to God. Asking Him to help me make it through one more day.

I never thought I’d be strong enough to live on my own, but here I am. I never thought I’d find peace, but I’m learning what it feels like. I still have anxiety, I still have OCD, I still struggle, but every day? I get stronger.

That’s why I’m sharing this.

Because people think they know me, but they don’t. They see me smiling, and they assume I’ve had it easy. But they have no idea the trauma, loss, and betrayal I’ve carried since the day I was born.

And I know there are people out there who feel the same. Maybe you have been abandoned. Maybe you have been lied to. Maybe you have been hurt in ways you don’t even know how to talk about.

And maybe, right now, you feel like there’s no way out.

But I promise you—there is.

No matter how bad it gets, no matter how much you want to give up—you can survive this. You can heal.

I’m proof of that.

This is just part of my story. I could go on forever, but all I really want to say is—if I can keep going after everything I’ve been through, so can you.

You’re stronger than you think.